The joke has been told of 7- and 4-year-old brothers who one morning thought about trying out some of the language they'd heard on TV.
The mother walked into the kitchen, and asked her oldest son what he wanted for breakfast. "Aw, #%*# mom, I guess I'll have some %#@* Cheerios," he said. Whack! Immediately the back of her hand hit him. He flew off his chair, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at her youngest. "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" she asked. "I don't know," he blubbered from fear, "but it sure as #%*# won't be any of those %#@* Cheerios."
Listen in at your local public school. Hang out in the food court at a nearby mall. Keep an open ear at your favorite restaurant. It won't take long for you to hear profane speech. Easier yet, turn on your TV or pop a rented movie into your VCR and you'll most likely get blasted in short order with swearing. No need to look hard and long, it's everywhere! Roger Ebert said at the end of one of his movie reviews, "This film obtained a PG-13 rating--depressing evidence of how comfortable with vulgarity American teenagers are presumed to be." Is it just a presumption that teenagers today are extra comfortable with vulgarity or is it really true?
What's happened to language? America has been described in a number of revealing ways: "Suffering from an epidemic of potty mouth that has turned America into one big locker room." "Having an addiction to swearing." "The golden age of profanity. Most of the language taboos have crumbled from television, radio and movies." God's name is routinely, almost unconsciously used profanely in casual conversations, on the news, and in most any situation. In a recent poll by the Chicago Sun-Times, 89 percent of respondents said swearing is a problem. Not a big surprise if you've had your ears open during the local softball game.
I dare say that young people aren't immune from this "epidemic." Epidemics spread by contact. Youth today are in contact with profane speech, sometimes very intimately, and it affects their own speech. "Professor Timothy Jay (author of Cursing in America and Why We Curse) has found that people are swearing more than ever. He says women are swearing more in public, kids are swearing more in school; they are saying worse swear words, and they are swearing earlier than they ever have. "Most parents have fought and lost the battleEquot; Has the family lost the battle? Has the family given up when it comes to modeling and encouraging clean and upright speech? Let's hope not!
As parents it is our responsibility to teach our children the value of and necessity for clean speech. Here are a few things you can do to encourage healthy tongues in your kids.
1. Take them to the Bible and show them what God says.
Our tongue directs our course "Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongueEquot; James 3:4-5
Our tongue reveals the heart. "But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." Matt.15:18-19
How you speak determines your image. Advertising has told us, "Image is everything!" While this is far from the truth, image is important for Christians who are ambassadors of Jesus Christ. (2 Cor. 5:20 "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.")
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
"My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse." Prov.8:7-8
"Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech." 1 Peter 3:10
"But among you there must not be E obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." Eph.5:3-4
"Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips." Ps.141:3
2. Model clean speech. "More is caught than taught" holds true when it comes to swearing. Set a good example for your kids. If you swear, your kids will likely swear. To help you model clean speech, try to identify "triggers" that lead to swearing. I'll be the first to admit there are some things that trigger my tongue. And it isn't just when I hit my thumb with a hammer! My anger can rise quickly when someone tailgates me, I'm late and can't find my keys, or when I hit my shin on the chair in the middle of the night. When I'm tempted to swear in situations like these I believe God would like to shine his light on whatever it is that is triggering my tongue. I need to ask myself, "What am I so angry about? What's really going on inside me that causes me to swear so quickly?" I believe it is deeper than just the chair in the hall or the tailgater. My desire is for God to open a window into my soul so that his light can remove the darkness in me.
3. Teach them the value of clean speech. The day may come when your teen curses in your home. Get ready to make the most of this moment. Teach them practically and biblically why swearing is wrong. Here are a few practical clues as to what's wrong with swearing:
4. Shield your kids from profanity. In the heat of battle, a shield is meant to protect you from harm. Our kids today are in a battle. Providing them with a protective shield when listening to music and watching videos or TV will help them win the battle. The old adage "Garbage in - garbage out" applies directly to speech. (Whatever is pure, trueEhink on (and listen to!) these things.) What are the lyrics like in the music your kids listen to? Swearing is common in secular music today and we all know how the lyrics seem to stick in our memory. Get your kids hooked on Christian music that has wholesome and uplifting lyrics. When it comes to watching TV shows and movies, our kids need a shield. Take control of your TV set and don't let it control you. Turn off offensive programs and monitor what your family watches. Along with this, buy a foul language filter to remove any swearing in the shows and movies you want to watch. (See sidebar, "Taming Tongues on the Tube") Foul language filters for TV are one of the "best kept secrets" in society today. With filters we don't have to say, "If it hadn't been for the swearing, it would've been a good movie." Don't sit by helplessly and let offensive speech hurt your family. Do something about it now.
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