Parents have Questions and Parents have Answers

Sister, first let me say that I know how you feel. I have an 11 1/2 year old girl. She is the oldest of three also. At this age they are between being a young adult and a child. It can be very confusing for them. Along with that they also begin to feel like they don't want someone bossing them around like they are still a child. But you must. All the advice about letting your child fail is hog-wash. What you must do is pray and pray a lot. Also set aside some time when you can interact one on one with your tween, help her understand her homework and sit with her while she accomplishes this. Never are we alone in life. Do you think Jesus sits on the sidelines while we go through our troubles? No. Praise Jesus that he is there with us. So my advice to you is to stick it out, pray alot, and get involved in your childs learning. Maybe the involvement from you is exactly what she needs for her own self-esteem. But when you do sit down with her...don't focus on the negative but focus on the positive.

~ Mandi

(existing comment from former system)

# posted by Faith : 5:50 PM

 

Parenting is an important job! Reading that you "correct her but, after a few minutes she is right back bossing" shows me that you are not using all 4 steps of discipling found in II Timothy 3:16 and 17. I have a free ebook - no strings attached, you don't even need an email to get it! You can find this help at:

http://colossians2.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=27&Itemid=35

God bless you in your important job as parent!

# posted by Mark : 6:06 PM

 

I have neice at this age and keep her most of the time. What people are telling you about letting her fail is true but needs some defining as well. The prodigal son has many lessons. It is the story of true tough love and the love of God. Let her fail at things she thinks she knows best about as long as they do not physically hurt her. But be there after she fails and realizes it is her fault alone because you did try to tell her. Tough love is taught to let kids run wild, pay the consequences, and do it all alone. I believe God even shows us the same tough love in the prodigal son. We make our own free choices, reap the consequences, but find comfort in God when we realize our mistakes.

I am the oldest of 3 children and went through the bossy stage too. Keep reminding her that she is not responsible for every one in the house younger than her, just herself and she is not doing a good job at that. When she bosses the others just remind them that she is not the boss and does not have to follow her orders. Talk about respect with her. Also remember that hormones are starting to really rage and there is transformation from child to teen here. Stay with her and never throw your hands in the air. I pray for you in your walk down an uncharted path in your home.

# posted by Felicia : 6:14 PM