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Vol. 2001 Issue 07b ~ Summer

I sit here before my computer screen just four days after learning of the news of the death of a friend’s husband. And I am compelled to write about it, but I am not so sure the words will come all that easily this time around.

This is the closest I’ve been to the death experience. I lost my grandmother over 10 years ago, but that was different – she was a bit older, the next generation. This time, however – this man was 37 years old. He left behind a 36-year-old widow and his three children, all under the age of 6. He was killed with a cliché that is not so much a cliché to me anymore – a car accident caused by a teenage drunk driver who survived.

I have so many random thoughts about this. How will she survive financially? Will she have to go to work? Did they have a good last night together? Will her children remember their dad at all? Not only will she have to pick up with the details of life, but how much will she actually just miss his companionship? I don’t think I realized until this moment – that though my husband, Kevin, and I have our fair share of struggles…who I am is completely wrapped up in being his wife and being partners in parenting with him. In the midst of a difficult time, I can flippantly let my mind wander that life could be so much easier if we just weren’t together…but then something like this happens and jolts my little safe world back into gratitude and appreciation.

You know, I can wallow in self-pity parties all the time about how hard mothering can be. But who am I kidding now? How dare I think that thought ever again! My children have a father. I have a co-laborer in this effort who helps me get through. Ahh, but that’s the point that I come back to again and again. Deb thought she did, too. I’ve been struck this week each time one of us has left the house and gotten in the car by the reality that that moment together could have been our last. We are not guaranteed anything in this life.

Well, at least we’re not guaranteed anything that has to do with our humanity (except that we will each die at some point). But we are guaranteed something else. We all know that trouble is simply a part of being born; but that our Creator and our God has told us that He will never leave us. We can count on the fact that we are one prayer away from experiencing His complete peace. And yes, we are each potentially one breath away from our last.

What are you going to do with the moments that God has given you this day?

© Elisabeth K. Corcoran, 2001

Elisabeth K. Corcoran is the author of Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom's Weary Soul . This column is original and not excerpted from her book.

Submitted on : 01-Jul-2001